i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
