The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
