$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
