Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
