I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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