she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
