the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
