Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
