I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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