This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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