She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
