it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
