Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
