Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
