You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You may now shotgun with the bride
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
