I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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