Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
