So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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