I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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