I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
