The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize