I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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