And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
