Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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