he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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