Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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