I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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