Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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