Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
two words...techno handjob
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
third nipple confirmed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
