So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
