Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
