Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
