If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
