Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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