im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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