just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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