Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she peed on how many people?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
