My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
