we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
