just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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