Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
