I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
