I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
