yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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