she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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