once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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