my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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