how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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