I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
