Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
