areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
