awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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